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Post by anonymouswife on Jan 2, 2020 17:43:10 GMT
Hey. I am having a really hard time with self-worth. I feel like I'm low on it and it is getting me down. This isn't something new, but for various reasons, it has been bothering me more lately. It's times like this I wish I still had Sir Guy's guidance...!! So grateful he left us his blog.
Things are good with my family and and I am grateful for this. My lack of self worth is more me when I'm in the world. No matter how long I do mirror time, I don't feel prettier or more confident after. This might have to do with doing courtship 'all wrong' and never building up my self worth properly when I was young. I walk around most days feeling ugly and this is despite trying to always look my best.
I strive to overcome this and to read through as many posts on WWNH to get a better sense of how to do so. A lot of the advice on the site about self worth is aimed at single women. I wonder if it is possible for a married woman to really find self-worth. I fear that I'm good enough at my job, if I am likable and attractive.
Anyways - it is my new year's resolution. Not one I'll accomplish right away but at least to start with one article a day and try to find some answers.
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Post by Cinnamon on Jan 3, 2020 1:26:42 GMT
I think many - perhaps even most - women struggle with this. I disagree with you re. Sir Guy's pretty time advice being directed more at single women. I feel the Self Gratitude series, which he devoted a lot of column inches to, was universally applicable. I do feel though that he didn't discuss working women that often - as such, his advice didn't really take into account the pressures of being in the workplace and how it can undermine our own sense of well-being. Grace was a homemaker and Sir Guy didn't have daughters, so the topic may not have been on his radar that strongly.
I'm not particularly strong on this point either, and can relate to your struggles. Getting older isn't helping either lol. When my weight is down I feel a lot more motivated and confident, however. Sir Guy used to say how important it was to keep your weight down - I think it's because he could see how this effects your confidence so deeply. It's reflected in how we dress and carry ourselves.
I have been watching Marie-Anne Lecouer's "How to be chic and elegant" videos on YouTube. She is a French style expert and has a wonderful, very inspiring way of speaking about classic dress and style. Go check out some of her videos, she is very much in line with the Pretty Time/Self-gratitude mindset. Sir Guy would love her.
Finally, we are living in unprecedented times, both spiritually and politically. I am very preoccupied with Trump and the spiritual awakening sweeping the globe. My gaze is focused spiritually more than it has ever been. I'm not as style-focused or self-improvement focused as I was in previous years, and have let things slip a bit in this department. However, I am more focused than ever on the things of God particularly in regard to building up and helping others who are struggling. If Sir Guy were with us, I believe he would have shifted his focus slightly to writing more often about politics and spirituality, as he would have seen more clearly than most how God has been moving in the world since the 2016 election.
Sorry this was a bit of a long-winded ramble.
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Post by anonymouswife on Jan 3, 2020 13:25:37 GMT
I hear you. We live in crazy times. Especially where I live. I often fear what will happen next.
I think I used the wrong word - "self worth". Sir Guy referred to it as "self image". I am reading up on his self image/ self esteem articles and they are interesting. Will post soon.
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Post by anonymouswife on Jan 3, 2020 13:50:30 GMT
wwnh.wordpress.com/2010/10/30/1091-self-esteem-and-self-image-revisited/There are a few key articles where Sir Guy explains self-esteem and how to get it. In a nutshell, you are born with it or you aren't, but you can improve your self-image, which basically leads to the same result as having high self-esteem. The way to improve your self-image is through accomplishments and being grateful for her efforts. I'm trying to understand this fully. What I understand so far is that daily self-talk/journaling/mirror time is the time to remind yourself of your boundaries, goals, and gratitude. Accomplishing the goals and having gratitude along the way can lead to greater self-image. Act as if you are the way you want to be and thoughts will follow. I am trying to put this into practice...it's certainly a challenge.
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Post by Cinnamon on Jan 16, 2020 16:10:53 GMT
Sorry for the delay in responding. Good summary. Profound. I am in full agreement with Sir Guy that accomplishments + gratitude are foundational. He used to say "action cures depression."
I was looking at a few of the articles in the CONTENT section today. The amount of material is overwhelming; it really is a treasure trove, and there is wisdom woven through so many of the articles on this subject, even ones where you wouldn't expect to find it given the title.
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