Post by sparkles on Jun 23, 2019 0:01:54 GMT
Hello All!
I have found myself in a bit of a pickle.
There is this guy who asked me out. I got the idea from the way we conversed that he was fishing for dating info. What did I like to eat? What did I like to do in my free time? The thing is, I couldn't figure out why he wasn't initiating more conversations (I initiated a majority of the conversations). Why wasn't he responding to my hints? Am I dropping hints incorrectly? I dropped at least 3 hints over the course of 2 weeks that I like to snack on dark chocolate. Me: "You know...I wanted to buy dark chocolate, but my favorite place is all out." Him, "So, go somewhere else and buy it!" Me:"I have this strange craving for dark chocolate..." Him: "You know what tastes good...caramel." Me:"Do you have any dark chocolate with you? I just love it!" Him: "If I owned a candy store, I would give you all the chocolate!!" He didn't bother buying me any. So I dropped it. I couldn't understand; does he lack initiative? or Does he just not care?
One time he said, "Wow...you look so pretty today." Me: "Thanks, I like to dress up..." Him (IMMEDIATELY GETTING MY HINT) "Where do you like to drink coffee?"
I answered, "I actually prefer tea...but coffee is ok." "Wow." He responded. "I also prefer tea over coffee." But for some reason, he insists on coffee dates. The first time he asked me out, he mumbled, so I wasn't sure of what he said. The second time, he asked me out "last minute." In other words, just as he was finishing work (5 minutes before 8 at night), he asked, "Would you like to have coffee with me at this place?" I said, "I can't at this time. It's too late for me." The third time, he saw me just as I passed by the coffee place, and he (sitting at a table near the window), saw me, and beckoned at me to come inside. "Come join me," he said. As I was heading somewhere at the time, I said, "I'm sorry, I was on my way to .... Thank you anyway."
At that point, I got the idea that he was frustrated with me...but I wasn't ready to give up. At one point, he asked me. "Do you want to go out on a date with me...or not??" I said, "Yes...but you always ask me out at the last minute. I need time to get ready!" "Oh, I see," He responded. I thought he got the point to ask me out at least 24 hours in advance. He kept chasing me, asking me, "Did you think about what I said? What do you think?? Let's go out!!"
Me: "Ok. If you insist..."
Next day:
Him, chasing me, "Do you like romantic movies? Do you want to go out with me?"
"Where?" I asked.
"Hmmm..." he muses.
"The bridge..." he says. "What bridge?" I ask.
"You know...by the bridge..."
"And...?" I ask, waiting for more....
"And..." he says.
"Do what...?" I press.
"Take a stroll...."
Me: "Did you make any plans?"
"P-P-Plans??" He sputters. "Plans? Plans?"
He seemed confused at first.
"Yes," I smiled. "You put some THOUGHT into what you want us to do together."
He seemed miffed at that point. "You want me to make a PLAN??? A plan...YOU want ME to ....PLAN...." His voice rose with every word he said.
"I see...you want me to write down what we're going to do...and then you'll grade it." He says sarcastically, his head angrily bobbing from side to side as he spoke.
I laughed out loud. "Oh!! You finally got my point!!!" I said in a teasing manner. I kept smiling. "YOU will make a PLAN."
I think he took it too hard.
All I wanted was for him to put some THOUGHT into it. I had gotten that idea that he was pulling out dates from thin air. Maybe he is just a spontaneous guy. I'm not sure.
Since that incident, he hasn't said anything about plans; he stopped chasing me. He even stopped asking me out for coffee.
Last week, he just asked, "Are you scared of me?" What did that mean? I wasn't sure how to respond, so I didn't.
I ran into him at least 2 more times after he asked me if I were scared, and it seemed as if he was ignoring me, as if he has lost all interest, all motivation, and all initiative.
Was I being too tough on him?
I can't make heads or tails out of this situation, or of him. Was he ever interested in me, or just playing? (He SEEMED honest). What should I do next? I can't figure out why he was upset that I asked him to make plans? One thing that I remember from our random conversations (before he asked me out) was that he claimed that he "never met a girl like me before," and that he "never had a girlfriend, so he's not sure how to act." He also said that he had low self-esteem as a child (but I don't buy that).
Sorry for the long story! I hope readers find it amusing at the least; maybe we can all learn something from this story.
Can anyone help?
Thanks,
Sparkles
I have found myself in a bit of a pickle.
There is this guy who asked me out. I got the idea from the way we conversed that he was fishing for dating info. What did I like to eat? What did I like to do in my free time? The thing is, I couldn't figure out why he wasn't initiating more conversations (I initiated a majority of the conversations). Why wasn't he responding to my hints? Am I dropping hints incorrectly? I dropped at least 3 hints over the course of 2 weeks that I like to snack on dark chocolate. Me: "You know...I wanted to buy dark chocolate, but my favorite place is all out." Him, "So, go somewhere else and buy it!" Me:"I have this strange craving for dark chocolate..." Him: "You know what tastes good...caramel." Me:"Do you have any dark chocolate with you? I just love it!" Him: "If I owned a candy store, I would give you all the chocolate!!" He didn't bother buying me any. So I dropped it. I couldn't understand; does he lack initiative? or Does he just not care?
One time he said, "Wow...you look so pretty today." Me: "Thanks, I like to dress up..." Him (IMMEDIATELY GETTING MY HINT) "Where do you like to drink coffee?"
I answered, "I actually prefer tea...but coffee is ok." "Wow." He responded. "I also prefer tea over coffee." But for some reason, he insists on coffee dates. The first time he asked me out, he mumbled, so I wasn't sure of what he said. The second time, he asked me out "last minute." In other words, just as he was finishing work (5 minutes before 8 at night), he asked, "Would you like to have coffee with me at this place?" I said, "I can't at this time. It's too late for me." The third time, he saw me just as I passed by the coffee place, and he (sitting at a table near the window), saw me, and beckoned at me to come inside. "Come join me," he said. As I was heading somewhere at the time, I said, "I'm sorry, I was on my way to .... Thank you anyway."
At that point, I got the idea that he was frustrated with me...but I wasn't ready to give up. At one point, he asked me. "Do you want to go out on a date with me...or not??" I said, "Yes...but you always ask me out at the last minute. I need time to get ready!" "Oh, I see," He responded. I thought he got the point to ask me out at least 24 hours in advance. He kept chasing me, asking me, "Did you think about what I said? What do you think?? Let's go out!!"
Me: "Ok. If you insist..."
Next day:
Him, chasing me, "Do you like romantic movies? Do you want to go out with me?"
"Where?" I asked.
"Hmmm..." he muses.
"The bridge..." he says. "What bridge?" I ask.
"You know...by the bridge..."
"And...?" I ask, waiting for more....
"And..." he says.
"Do what...?" I press.
"Take a stroll...."
Me: "Did you make any plans?"
"P-P-Plans??" He sputters. "Plans? Plans?"
He seemed confused at first.
"Yes," I smiled. "You put some THOUGHT into what you want us to do together."
He seemed miffed at that point. "You want me to make a PLAN??? A plan...YOU want ME to ....PLAN...." His voice rose with every word he said.
"I see...you want me to write down what we're going to do...and then you'll grade it." He says sarcastically, his head angrily bobbing from side to side as he spoke.
I laughed out loud. "Oh!! You finally got my point!!!" I said in a teasing manner. I kept smiling. "YOU will make a PLAN."
I think he took it too hard.
All I wanted was for him to put some THOUGHT into it. I had gotten that idea that he was pulling out dates from thin air. Maybe he is just a spontaneous guy. I'm not sure.
Since that incident, he hasn't said anything about plans; he stopped chasing me. He even stopped asking me out for coffee.
Last week, he just asked, "Are you scared of me?" What did that mean? I wasn't sure how to respond, so I didn't.
I ran into him at least 2 more times after he asked me if I were scared, and it seemed as if he was ignoring me, as if he has lost all interest, all motivation, and all initiative.
Was I being too tough on him?
I can't make heads or tails out of this situation, or of him. Was he ever interested in me, or just playing? (He SEEMED honest). What should I do next? I can't figure out why he was upset that I asked him to make plans? One thing that I remember from our random conversations (before he asked me out) was that he claimed that he "never met a girl like me before," and that he "never had a girlfriend, so he's not sure how to act." He also said that he had low self-esteem as a child (but I don't buy that).
Sorry for the long story! I hope readers find it amusing at the least; maybe we can all learn something from this story.
Can anyone help?
Thanks,
Sparkles
) What does a lady do when a man she had put back in the parade a couple of years ago keeps cropping up?