Approachability in a large city

When the lady is out and about in public, she just smiles her crimson smile and does her own thing: going to the movies or sitting at a restaurant with a book, cuppa coffee or just observing people. (I took a lesson from Guy's post "42"  a couple of years back about sitting alone (where ever I find myself) as he says it "works to a man’s strength and advantage. Women alone need rescue, so a man will assume your loneliness signals need for him. Also, if he is to be rejected, he wants no witnesses." I know he meant it in the context of church but I thought I'd test drive it in different environments to see if it works there as well.) Generally, the guys would return my smile. So smiling is a good attraction. Also guys my age would rarely approach me to engage in a conversation or just a chit chat while the older men would find a way to even if it is just to tease, tell a joke or to pay a compliment. Generally, I also find the older ones to be more confident than the younger ones. Perhaps the younger ones are hesitant to approach because of their past experiences with our feminist stepsisters or perhaps they embrace feminist thought. Their experiences have probably taught them that all women are the same even though we are not, if they would just suspend their hasty blanket judgement, let go of their past experiences and rise above their fear of approaching a pretty lady. I can probably speculate all day about the reasons for their lack of approach, but I think you get the picture.     

In regards to the concept of dating, people have different ideas of what it entails. To most, dating is the whole exclusive girlfriend or boyfriend thing. To the few, it is being asked out for a glass of water or McDonald's to name a few examples. Given our current upside down culture, it is a very bold, risk and challenge seeking, know what I want kind of man that would approach a pretty lady whom he has just detected in public, and ask her out on a date. Those guys are rare so you will not encounter them often but keep hope, maintain your pretty and don't let it cause you to feel discouraged.  

My other advice for being approachable? Perhaps don't go out in the public sphere with the expectation of being asked out on a date. Why not go out there without expectations? Why not take pleasure in your own company with your own very pretty self? Why not be grateful for whatever gift you receive even if it comes in the form of a returning smile or glance from a stranger and take the opportunity to learn from the situation you are in? Why not be different from the other ladies in your proximity or peer group? Modesty is the way forward and volunteering makes us focus less on ourselves, brings out the best in us and demos another side of you. Who knows, a guy might be watching and falling in love with you whilst you are doing something you enjoy and are passionate about... I am a book worm and am thus always book armed. I am happy between its pages and come a live when I get the opportunity to share and discuss with others what I have learnt. If curiosity leads a man to my table to discover what it is that I am reading and dreaming about, I would probably think my book contains magic because of its cupid abilities. Call my reading habit, escapism if you wish. Perhaps there are a few birds out there in the flock, that will notice a worm, come in for the catch and persuade her of an additional and different escape... 

Just some ideas and thoughts to help you bait your hook, love. I hope they are helpful.         
  

"Some gentlemen will see you but be afraid to approach for a long time." Completely agree. From reading the Alpha, Beta and Gamma series in 923 - 930  I think they are perhaps the risk-averse, who needs to see the security of a lot of information about you first before they feel comfortable enough to take action. In addition to that Guy says in 487 that "Asking for first date is riskier for a man than asking for sex during the date. It becomes even riskier, if he aspires to swim in water over his head—that is, she’s more attractive than he thinks he deserves. Men seek to reduce risk, but they thrive on it when the goal is attractive enough. Working this tendency backward: The riskier the endeavor, the greater his satisfaction for achieving what he was after. This adds value to and respect for her. What makes asking riskier? Mystery, feminine mystique, female modesty, unique femaleness, unpredictability, super attractiveness, self-respect, self-confidence, super friendliness, apparent independence, no apparent interest in him as a partner." 

I guess a lady should know herself well enough to know if she would desire life with the risk-averse or the risk-taker and proceed accordingly. I also find the ideas in Dr. Patricia Allen's book, Getting to I do, interesting with regard to the masculine and feminine energy men and women. A lady should be aware which one she possesses and exudes or which one she would like to possess and exude and proceed accordingly as well. 

Did you end up going for the setup she tried to arrange, if I may ask?  
 

Hi Ladies,

Apologies for not replying sooner!

Thank you very much for your excellent words of advice and wisdom.

I am also an avid reader and so I really like the idea of prettying myself up and going to a coffee shop or cafe with a book - it sounds like a lovely way to spend an afternoon!

I go to museums and public events alone from time to time already, but could definitely do this more often instead of staying home at the weekends.
I think if I have some time this weekend, I may try going into the city centre and seeing if there are any interesting events going on (after some mirror time and dressing prettily of course)

I am also going on a walking holiday alone in a couple of weeks, where I will meet up with a group of other solo travellers there.
I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much but it's possible I might meet a potential Mr Good Enough there!

Thank you again for all your advice, I will let you know if anything interesting comes from my solo adventures!

I'm really looking forward to this field report. The future is bright!!!

One more tip about public events - if you are going to a show, arrive a little early and sit in the lobby before the show with a drink (e.g. sparkling water or coffee - not necessarily alcoholic), then during the interval sit in the same place (if possible), perhaps glancing through the program from the show. This way an admiring stranger can find you again easily if he saw you earlier. Furthermore, it will confirm for him that you are indeed alone.

"This way an admiring stranger can find you again easily if he saw you earlier. Furthermore, it will confirm for him that you are indeed alone." <-  I just love your way of thinking!!