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Post by waitingforodysseus1 on Oct 27, 2020 23:34:46 GMT
Hello ladies, It's so quiet on here... Hope it's because all are doing well. :-) About a month ago, I decided to bite the bullet and pursue online dating. I read Guy's Online dating series and the normal dating series too on the matter. Also decided that I was going to compete with my sisters and shop in the American market! :-D A guy and I from there have been chatting for a month now. I've grilled him from the outset with Guy's questions. He mentioned they were tough but that he does not mind. He answered most of them but the quality of his responses isn't what it can be but that is not the issue. The issue is, he does not ask me ANY question in turn including my own. This suggests he may not be interested in me. Have you ladies perhaps experienced this phenomenon too? Is it common? I've played around with said questions on other non-dating platforms too to get practice and build confidence in asking those types of questions and the guys drop dead like flies! The questions seem to give a lady a very mature minded 'appearance'.
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Post by Cinnamon on Oct 30, 2020 14:55:41 GMT
Hi There,
Welcome back to the alumni board. Yes it's been quiet but we are still here.
It sounds like you are getting some good experience. Sir Guy's series on online dating is a very good one to review. With regard to your question:
...I've grilled him from the outset with Guy's questions. He mentioned they were tough but that he does not mind. He answered most of them but the quality of his responses isn't what it can be but that is not the issue. The issue is, he does not ask me ANY question in turn including my own. This suggests he may not be interested in me. Have you ladies perhaps experienced this phenomenon too? Is it common?
Keep in mind the man is the seller; he is primarily interested in selling himself to you, the buyer. At this early stage, I wouldn't expect him as a seller to show much of an interest in what you think, feel, and believe about much of anything. According to feminist ideology, such behaviour is selfish, arrogant, and disrespectul, but this erroneous interpretation fails to take into account the male nature.
The real way that you determine his level of interest in you at this early stage is not by whether he asks a lot of questions about you, but by whether he keeps coming around (in other words, initiates contact with you) without direct prompting from you. According to Sir Guy, when a man talks himself up to you a lot, making his accompishments the central subject of your conversations, he is in high-powered seller mode. Only time will tell if he is truly interested in selling himself to you for something beyond sex.
With regard to grilling, I would take a more laid back approach. I think it's important to try to discern important things about his character with some of the questions Sir Guy suggests, but I would be more indirect about weaving the questions into conversations. I like Sir Guy's principle of being simultaneously both soft-hearted and hard-headed. I think men can feel put off if they feel they are being interrogated, and that it can dampen your mystery. and make you appear a little bit hard-hearted. It's a question of what feels most natural to you. Remember to have fun!
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Post by waitingforodysseus1 on Nov 6, 2020 17:43:26 GMT
Hello Cinnamon,
I appreciate your response and calling my attention to the fact that he is busy selling himself when he answers my questions. I had not realized that, that is what was happening. 'Grilling' was perhaps not the right word to use, but I understand what you mean by your suggestion of using a more laid back approach. Thank you also for reminding me that I should try and have fun! Haha! I will share my progress and experience so others can learn too.
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