Wishy-Washy Man | WWNH Alumni Forum

sparkles
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Posts: 17

Wishy-Washy Man Sept 19, 2018 2:35:40 GMT

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Post by sparkles on Sept 19, 2018 2:35:40 GMT

Hi Cinnamon!

I completely agree - many first-hand experiences have also led me to confirm WWNH teachings! Pretty time, for example is like a prophecy come true!
After reading that man's post, I sometimes feel sorry for some men...but at least his story had a happy ending! It makes me wonder if some people need to have a bad relationship first in order to recognize and appreciate a great one.

There is something in my personal life that I'm still struggling to understand, and any perspective, male or female, would be greatly appreciated. I knew a man for about 2 years. Right before I shut him out of my life, he told me that he "wanted my commitment." This made very little sense to me, as he was already in a committed relationship with another! (Hence, why I shut him out).

Was he really asking for a commitment? I thought that after 2 years of knowing me, that he would have uncovered some of my virtues (WWNH lessons), and if he really wanted to be committed to me, he would have taken the necessary steps.

Thoughts? Comments?

Cinnamon
Administrator

WWNH Evangelist

Posts: 117

Wishy-Washy Man Sept 19, 2018 12:58:44 GMT

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Post by Cinnamon on Sept 19, 2018 12:58:44 GMT

Hi sparkles,

You are correct that if a man genuinely seeks a commitment, his actions will show this consistently over time. This man's actions did not. In fact, he wasn't devoted to either of you. He is what you desribe as a "player."

Hopefully the next time you meet someone who exhibits the telltale signs of being a player, you will see it more clearly and much more quickly so you can put him back into the parade. I recommend reviewing Sir Guy's articles around dating.

sparkles
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Posts: 17

Wishy-Washy Man Oct 24, 2018 2:17:00 GMT

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Post by sparkles on Oct 24, 2018 2:17:00 GMT

Thank you Cinnamon!

The thing that confuses me is that his S.O. committed *almost* every sin according to Sir Guy, to the point that he was constantly complaining about her, but, somehow he still rationalized that she was good enough. For example, one time she screamed at his ailing mother to shut up in front of his family at a holiday dinner. Everyone was in shock. How could she treat an ill person this way? Nevertheless, he quickly forgot about it, as if nothing happened. I didn't understand this. What sort of male logic is this? I remember thinking that he tried to turn her into me -- telling her that she should speak like this (things that I say), act like this (how I carry myself), etc. Does this make sense to anyone? Why would he put in that effort to change her...when he could so easily just commit to me?

Since women lead, and men follow, I wonder - could I have played the game differently for a different outcome? I was reading through some of the articles, and I started to wonder if I did something wrong.
The break-up happened about a year ago. I called him a few months ago, to wish him well for his birthday, and he responded indifferently. He hasn't reached out to me to say anything. Should I make one last attempt, and wish him well for the holidays? It would be something brief and impersonal, but I don't know if I should even bother.

Please advise.

Thanks,
Sparkles

Cinnamon
Administrator

WWNH Evangelist

Posts: 117

Wishy-Washy Man Oct 24, 2018 11:29:10 GMT

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Post by Cinnamon on Oct 24, 2018 11:29:10 GMT

Sparkles,

I have moved your dilemma to a new thread called Wishy-Washy man.

No, there is really nothing you can do here that you haven't already done. His actions indicate that he has very low standards for female companionship. Your job is to allow him to screen himself out for consideration, by quietly applying your high standards, which you have succeeded in doing. He is wishy-washy, which is a very undesirable trait. Put him back in the parade.

Last Edit: Oct 24, 2018 11:33:17 GMT by Cinnamon