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Post by anonymouswife on Jul 14, 2019 20:18:22 GMT
Anyone still here in this group?  I ALWAYS miss Sir Guy and his guidance. I find myself wondering, "what would he think about this or that" daily. But this past week, I REALLY needed his advice. I always worried my husband might cheat on me, because he is attractive and charming and doesn't have a deep moral issue with "white lies". There may have been other intuitive reasons I thought this. Anyways, about 5 years into our marriage, I found out he spent a few days messaging and talking on the phone with a girl who had had a crush on him years ago, and even gave her the impression he might leave me for her. I found this out after going through his phone. He apologized but said nothing physical happened with her and they just spoke a lot on the phone (I was visiting at my parents with my kids at the time, and he only came a week into our trip). A few years later, about 6 months after I had my third child, I found my husband was basically having an emotional affair with another woman (different woman), about 10 years older than him. This upset me deeply for obvious reasons, but there were other reasons as well. Firstly, he lied about it to my face. It was only when I had clear evidence did he finally admit it. This made me fearful that he had lied about other things in the past. The thing with this woman was going on for months, but was seemingly not physical. He would talk to her about all our marital problems and how he was unhappy etc. Anyways it completely broke my trust in him but I also realized I had to change so that he wouldn't be unhappy in our marriage. I took all Sir Guy's advice and became more modest, more feminine, stopped complaining and made our home a happy place. Our marriage really improved. We almost never fought and life between the two of us was nice. Everything seemed to be going pretty well in our relationship except I would still check his phone and wonder if there was someone else he was talking to now. Last week I discovered he was texting with another woman, who lives far away. She is also older and it is strange but I realized he likes the attention...or possibly is addicted to the attention. I confronted him and after me losing my cool and all emotional control, he finally admitted to it (he had deleted some of the messages, so I couldn't see their entire exchange). I do not know if he admitted EVERYTHING but he was very ashamed and admitted he doesn't know why he does this (he said there was one other woman I didn't catch who he texted back and forth). He said it's innocent and nothing comes of it, but he realize it is breaking out vows. I should note that other than this, he is an amazing husband and I have immense respect for him. He is handsome, talented, handy and my kids look up to him like their hero. We have a wonderful life together and our home is filled with happiness. Needless to say, I cannot accept this behavior. It is humiliating and disloyal and extremely hurtful to me. I don't know why he does it or why he feels like he needs this attention. These are women who are older than me and less attractive (not that I'm a beauty queen, but I stay in shape and keep up my appearance). Perhaps they give him something I do not, but I don't really know what else to do at this point to make him happy. I listen to him, respect him, make him food every day...I smile for him and I do the things wives should do. I feel like there is no way to change more on my part but rather it is a moral issue on his side. Anyways I am starting to institute Sir Guy's plan for the cheating husband (moving into another bedroom etc etc) but I'm not sure if it is the right move. He regrets what he did and he very much wants to stay in the marriage. No part of him wants to leave (he said this and he acts this way...except with flirting with other women). I still feel he needs to understand that this behavior is not something I can tolerate. I don't want to go to marriage counseling because I'm just generally a skeptic but I wouldn't be opposed to him going to therapy on his own. I feel like the marriage counselors aren't guided by wisdom like Sir Guy possessed. Any tips or advice here would be greatly appreciated. |
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Post by Cinnamon on Jul 15, 2019 0:17:15 GMT
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Post by anonymouswife on Jul 15, 2019 9:56:24 GMT
Cinammon,
Thank you for your reply! I hadn't come across those articles before and Sir Guy definitely provides an amazing explanation of the ways men and women view emotional infidelity. I'm so happy we can continue to benefit from and spread his wisdom.
I do need a WWNH strategy.
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Post by Cinnamon on Jul 15, 2019 15:02:51 GMT
I'm not able at the moment to draft a comprehensive reply because of time constraints, so I will list a few comments and questions using bullet points. Together we can analyse this situation and try to find the best way forward. NB: I am going to change the title of your thread to "Emotional Affairs via Texting" 1. Regarding the following: Firstly, he lied about it to my face. It was only when I had clear evidence did he finally admit it. This made me fearful that he had lied about other things in the past. I would not conclude from this incident that he is a serial liar about important matters. I suspect what happened was that when you "guilted" him, he reacted defensively. It's in the male nature. Here is a key article: wwnh.wordpress.com/2012/07/12/1669-dont-guilt-a-man/Review the Recovery Crib Sheet pinned to the top of this board (SOS Marriage board) for reminders on how not to guilt him about the current situation (and yes...I know he deserves it...but you will not benefit yourself if you indulge in it, except temporarily during the moment when you are letting off steam). 2. Regarding the current state of your marriage: From what you describe, you have a very happy marriage and family life. You are practising gratitude about it. The only thing I would ask is, are you 100% confident that he has no major complaints about the status quo? You state that, "I feel like there is no way to change more on my part but rather it is a moral issue on his side," but I would do some soul-searching and make doubly sure you can stand over that claim with absolute certainty. Here are the questions I would ask myself: (a) He told the second EA (emotional affair) woman about your marital problems. Make a list of each of the problems and go through the list one by one and ask yourself honestly have you addressed each one of them adequately. Have you "slipped" on any item? (b) Related to the above is, since you implemented WWNH, has he ever complained - directly or indirectly - about anything in the marriage? Sir Guy spoke about the importance of paying close attention to a husband's likes and dislikes. Men don't nag like women, but they often will make a comment about something they dislike. It's your job as relationship expert to notice this, and correct the behaviour going forward. These can be major or minor irritants. Examples would be, he doesn't like being interrupted when he is watching football on TV, he doesn't like it when you complain about your job during dinner, he doesn't want you talking to your mother on the phone for an hour every Saturday morning. 3. Marriage Counseling. Avoid it at all costs. Every couple I know that went through marriage counseling ended up divorced. The beliefs that underlie marriage counseling are not consistent with WWNH. Marriage counseling results in a cycle of endless bickering and fault-finding. If you want an idea how screwed up many licensed counselors and self-declared "marriage experts" are, take a look at their track records. For example, Dr. Pepper Schwartz was a highly accomplished, best-selling "marriage expert" with a PhD. She published many books which purport to give good marriage advice. Look at what her life turned into: www.amazon.com/Prime-Adventures-Advice-Sensual-Years/dp/0061173592?SubscriptionId=0ENGV10E9K9QDNSJ5C82&tag=&linkCode=xm2&camp=2025&creative=165953&creativeASIN=0061173592The only marriage experts I trust are Sir Guy and Peaceful Wife. You might want to go to Peaceful Wife's site and post your situation and get input from her. Her outlook and approach are closely aligned to WWNH. 4. If you could reply to the above with your input, particularly item 2, I will respond. I have a few ideas about how you might approach this situation, but I want your input first. |
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Post by anonymouswife on Jul 15, 2019 17:41:59 GMT
Cinammon,
Thanks for your quick reply! It means the world to me. I also appreciate you echoing my skepticism towards marriage counseling. It calms me to thing that I am making the right choice by avoiding it. I also only trust Peaceful Wife and Sir Guy. I love the Peaceful Wife's site!
Regarding number 2-
The first time he was unfaithful via text (a little over 2 years ago) and I do think I have changed everything that bothered him. He didn't tell me what all those things were, he expressed that I nagged him at work (when would he be home etc) and got into fights with him and that I was negative and complained. We also argued a lot because he hated getting up often with the baby (he is a light sleeper and I was a heavy sleeper and he woke up faster than me. I changed those things and the baby thing changed on it's own because he sleeps.
I changed things that he didn't complain about - I started dressing nicer than before, started cooking for him more and made him lunches for work (all things he appreciated) and I changed a few other things that I know he appreciated. The most important thing was to stop arguing and complaining. This took me some time to get good at but now I am pretty good at it. He tells me he is happy with me often and compliments my looks and mentions how happy he is to be with me out of nowhere. This is why I feel even more hurt...is that all a lie?
I wish I could figure out what he is unhappy about...I think he would prefer to deal with the kids a bit less than he does. He never complains about this but I sense that it is very hard for him to deal with them on his own, especially when they are whiny. I try to deal with them but he has to help because I need to work (I don't live in the USA and here there are almost no one-family incomes...people can't get by). There are times when I slip up and complain or nag, but I try to recover a positive attitude quickly. I'm sure he still gets annoyed though. He gets annoyed when I get stressed out about things like cleaning etc.
All in all, I'm sure I could do better and I am willing to try. I'm sure I can speak in a gentle tone all the time, be sweeter, be more patient, stop showing when I'm stressed, talk less etc. I make mistakes but I do see that I am constantly improving.
He has a lot of frustration in his life from his job and some other related things and we've both had a tough year with work issues and some other difficult problems (outside the relationship).
What I sense is that it isn't so much that I bother him or that he isn't happy, but maybe that I don't excite him or make him feel alive and free the way that flirting with other women does. He isn't inspired to take me out or plan something fun for us to do together. He never was like that, even when we were first married. I think he gets a rush from these other women that he doesn't get from me. He told me something along those lines.
The other thing I didn't mention, is that in the beginning, we didn't follow Sir Guy's guidelines (we were married 10 years when I discovered him...). We dated for a very short time and were engaged and married quickly. We both knew right away that we wanted to get married, and I had a calming intuition the first time I met him that I'd known him all my life. We had a lot of mutual friends and similar backgrounds, so it didn't seem crazy (and in our community, it isn't highly uncommon to meet and get married quickly). I fear if the lack of a real "courtship" process made me less valuable to him for the long term. He didn't have to work hard to win the prize. I know it's water under the bridge now, but maybe because he didn't have to work too hard to conquer me, it wasn't exciting, and a part of him wants to conquer another.
I don't know if the last bit is true but it's something I fear.
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Post by Cinnamon on Jul 15, 2019 18:19:14 GMT
I'm going to have to give this some thought for a day or two. I don't have much free time at the moment, and I haven't brushed up on WWNH teachings in several months.
There is an answer to nearly any marriage dilemma in WWHN,but the material is so dense and nuanced that unless you have a near-photographic memory, you need to be immersed in it (reading and reviewing articles and comments regularly) to keep on top of it all. Finding a specific answer from Sir Guy that sheds brilliant light can be like finding a needle in a haystack. I can advise on most dating issues off the top of my head, but marriage is usually much trickier.
I think your insight into your courtship is perhaps key here. The devotion process may have got short-circuited somewhat. Retrofitting WWNH onto a marriage that started as non-WWNH is particularly dicey. I'm sure he has addressed the question directly, but I don't know where to look for it. So we will have to deduce a strategy from general WWNH principles.
In the meantime try this: go to WWNH and do a search on words such as infidelity, devotion, trust,etc. and see what articles are returned. Spend about 20 minutes per day studying the articles and of course the comments. You will learn so much, and perhaps gain insight into this situation. I need to do the same - it's brushing up on the teachings.
I'll be back in a day or two.
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Post by anonymouswife on Jul 15, 2019 19:33:33 GMT
Thanks Cinnamon! Will do.
I actually found something a while back which offered a little insight into the general idea of getting married without courtship as happens in arranged marriages. Sir Guy answered a woman who wrote in a comment to an article (I don't remember which one!) that she had an arranged marriage and therefore there was no courtship involved etc. He gave her advice that I don't completely remember but it was something along the lines of not revealing herself and making him figure her out.
I do sense that there is something in this advice that I'm meant to do, yet I'm unsure of how to take that step back and unclear if and how it would apply in my situation. I'm also not sure if I should move into a separate bedroom or stay put. I've been trying to read up on all things related to this...and will keep reading for sure.
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Post by Cinnamon on Jul 15, 2019 21:53:54 GMT
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Post by Cinnamon on Jul 16, 2019 20:55:52 GMT
OK, I have found what I think are some of the key articles. First though, I think your analysis above is very insightful. You seem to have a very high level of self-awareness about your marriage, and the ability to analyse it carefully in light of WWNH principles. Keep in mind, that even with WWNH, we are often in the realm of speculation where we try to make the best decisions based on incomplete information. We don't have omniscence, or a crystal ball. Basically, we come up with a plan based on probabilities. As regards the source of your husband's EAs (emotional affairs), I think it's one of three things: 1. He is unhappy with some aspect of the marriage 2. He never developed sufficient devotion to you because of your short courtship. 3. He has some kind of addiction to the EAs. I think all three are factors here, but that the predominant ones are 2 and 3, which are closely related. I don't think you will ever know fully the truth about the source of the EAs, and he may not even know himself. But from what you describe, I don't believe he is particularly unhappy in the marriage. It is unlikely he would praising you verbally like he does on a recurring basis if he were fundamentally unhappy. From what I remember, the male nature is to withdraw when he is unhappy, and sometimes even to walk out the door without warning. So no, I don't think he is lying when he tells you how happy he is. It is a big red flag, however, that he doesn't plan special events for you, such as evenings out. This suggests insufficient devotion. Remember, the male nature is fundamentally lazy. Devotion is programmed during courtship through habit without his conscious awareness - he pleases himself by repeatedly pleasing her. Sir Guy used to describe this almost as a biological process. Given the nature of your courtship, this biological process was short-circuited, resulted in insufficient devotion. Despite this, you still have a really strong marriage. Had you known about WWNH, you would have handled the courtship differently, devotion would have developed, and perhaps this EA problem wouldn't exist. But wouldn't we all love to turn back the clock? Of course! I have found the two articles that I think you need to study in-depth: 1784 + 1785. wwnh.wordpress.com/2013/01/17/1784-sex-difference-redux-part-38-cheaters-redemption-wife-prepares/wwnh.wordpress.com/2013/01/18/1785-sex-difference-redux-part-39-cheaters-redemption-game-plan/These articles are amazing. Then read through the remaining articles in the series. You have three options: 1. Let it go completely and change nothing. 2. Let it go completely and upgrade your behaviours - really work hard at upgrading your likeability to A+. 3. Follow 1784 and do the Mental Makeover. It would help to know more about the conversation (argument) you had when you confronted him last week about the latest EA. Did he promise never to do it again? Any detail you could provide would be helpful for this analysis. Please read the articles I cited and then get back to me. We can discuss the risks and benefits of each of the three options, and work through this together. Sir Guy has really left magnificent instructions for us. |
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Post by anonymouswife on Jul 17, 2019 8:33:30 GMT
Hi,
Thank you so much for your response. It means so much to me that you would spend time thinking about and helping me with my problems, even though I'm a stranger!
I agree with your assessment that the main sources of the emotional affairs are mostly the insufficient devotion due to a short courtship and the addiction element (I think it's exciting for him and an escape).
Regarding the articles you suggested, I read both of them (and the comments and the rest of the series) a few times before posting my concern on this board. My question is that since I am dealing with an emotional affair and not a physical one, do I implement shock and awe? Do I refuse physical intimacy and move into a separate bedroom until he proves to me that he changed? Or do I focus on improving myself only? This is where I am confused about how to proceed.
If I only improve myself, I am worried he won't be motivated enough to consider changing his behavior (which as Sir Guy points out, he may not anyways...). If I move into the other room - this will be difficult for him but it MAY motivate him to stop his behavior. On the other hand, he may resent me for it.
This is what happened with his latest offense:
I first discovered the messages earlier in the week and confronted him. He denied it and said he was in contact with her because she was a work connection he wanted to maintain contact with for professional reasons (partially true). He explained that he had no interest in her besides that and I was being paranoid. I told him I was concerned because I saw he had messages with her that he deleted...indicating he wanted to hide them from me. He said that sometimes she sends him messages that border on being inappropriate so he deleted them because they made him uncomfortable. He claimed he had nothing to hide and promised he would no longer delete messages because he understands when he deletes them, I get suspicious.
A few days later, still not completely trusting his claim, I discovered that he had once again deleted new messages from this same woman (I could see they had a chat on whatsapp and the content was cleared). This is when I realized he had been lying to me and I kind of lost control and got very upset and was a bit hysterical until he was finally caved and admitted their exchange was inappropriate. He was being defensive and was a little angry.
I was forced to calm down because we were on our way to a family weekend with his extended family that we had been planning for a while. I had no choice but to keep silent about this and pretend everything was fine and move on for the moment. I didn't speak to him much over the weekend and when it was over he spoke to me and told me how sorry he was and even cried. He admitted there had been another woman this happened with (that I hadn't caught) and that he didn't do anything physical but he knows he crossed a line. He explained that he feels like it is an addiction and it has nothing to do with me and that he doesn't understand why he does it other than it gives him a rush. He said he would seek out help and guidance from trusted mentors since he fears he can't stop on his own and breaking up our marriage would kill him.
For one night I slept in another room and I thought he didn't even realize because he went to sleep before me and woke up after me. The next day, he told me that he was up all night coming in to check on me because I was in the other room, which made him sad, and he asked me if I would sleep in our room. I agreed, not because he asked but because I'm unsure myself which strategy to pursue.
That is where things stand at the moment. I do have to say, my husband is generally not one for childish behaviors. He doesn't play video games or anything of the sort. His hobbies are politics and building things around the house. He is sociable and we often host people and participate in community activities. The community is a big part of our life and he is very concerned with his reputation.
As I write this, I think is part of reason he would be scared to lose me and his 'status' as a good husband/ father. This would also greatly lower his value in the eyes of his family (who is religious, as are we) since they would find his behavior unforgivable. But perhaps his devotion to me is weak and I'm afraid he will continue this behavior if he thinks he will never get caught.
Anyways, that's it for now. I know this was quite a long post and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your input and advice.
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Post by Cinnamon on Jul 18, 2019 14:33:21 GMT
Anonymous Wife, You're very welcome - it's a pleasure to be able to help others to apply these magnificent teachings to their lives to strengthen marriages & families, and thus contribute to making a better, more peaceful, and more godly world. Here are my thoughts on the three options: 1. Let it go completely and change nothing.Pros: This could work. Perhaps he already realises the seriousness of what he has done, and fears already that he will lose you. If you go this route, you can always skip to option 3 should he betray your trust again. Cons: He could read this as a signal that (a) the matter isn't that serious and (b) you fear losing him more than he fears losing you, resulting in continued lack of respect for you. He could go back to his old ways. 2. Let it go completely and upgrade your behaviours - really work hard at upgrading your likeability to A+.I don't see much benefit to this option. It really puts you in the role of seller, in addition to the cons listed above in option 1. 3. Follow 1784 and do the Mental Makeover.NB: I would do a "Modified Mental Makeover" - more below. Pros: You put yourself in the driver's seat as the buyer. He will have to figure out how to earn you back. If he decides to earn you back, this process will program him for at least some of the devotion that is currently lacking. Cons: You risk losing him. You will have to commit to the MM program as described in 1784+, and have the disipline to stick to it long-term. Modified Mental Makeover (MMM) I would modify it in this way: 1. You asked whether an EA (emotional affair) was enough to apply the "no sex" rule (NSR). I couldn't find a direct answer on WWNH to this question (it's probably in there somewhere, but I couldn't find it). This is particularly dicey because as you know, men don't view EA as "cheating" in the way that women do; as a result, they don't feel guilty about it to the same degree. After a great deal of thought, I do think the NSR is merited here, because the EAs are a recurring problem (I would NOT recommend using the NSR for a first-time EA offense). I wouldn't move into the other bedroom, however. Instead, I would move to the other bedroom only if he got stroppy (argumentative) with you about the NSR. 2. I would NOT insist on a public renewal of vows in the event he rebuilds the marriage and wins back your respect and trust. In addition to the above two modifications, I would also focus on the below changes: a. Hobbies. Pick an existing hobby or new hobby, and begin to pursue it actively on a weekly basis. This could be anything from resuming music lessons/taking up a new instrument/taking tennis lessons/learning to sew/learning to speak Japanese/joining a book club/ to starting a master's degree at night/power walking/pilates, etc. It should be something that you enjoy. If you can fit in two hobbies, all the better. As Sir Guy says, "accomplishments discourage depression." b. Cleaner. If you can afford it, hire a cleaner to help you with the housework on a regular basis - say once a week or once every two weeks. Cut back elsewhere if you need to do this to afford it. Treat your housekeeper very well - with kindness and fairness. Don't discuss either of the above with him. Just do them. Both will increase your independent spirit, and get his mind wondering "What the heck is going on with her?" Let him find ways to please you. Keep in mind, the MM is a long process, and you will not see overnight changes. Even if you do see changes, you cannot give in to him for a long time, or the devotion will not become programmed. With respect to his EA problem, this is his problem to solve, not yours (apart from sticking with the MMM). I do think you should have a very brief conversation with him - a few sentences long - that makes it clear that you want him to fix the problem. I'll send you a DM with details of how I think you can phrase this effectively. Let me know your thoughts on the above. |
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Post by anonymouswife on Jul 18, 2019 17:27:08 GMT
Cinnamon,
Hi. Again, I thank you for your insightful and well-thought-out response.
I agree that the best plan here is probably a modified version of the mental makeover. The implementation becomes tricky though.
We are tight both on money and time. We are also in the midst of some other issues that don't have anything to do with our relationship, and life is quite stressful. As it is, I leave every morning early to exercise before work and this is my 'free time'/ hobby. The rest of my day until late at night I'm stretched to the max, without any options. The only other 'free time' I have is late at night, about an hour before bed, which is when we usually hang out, talk, watch a show, etc. It's the time dedicated to spending with each other. I was thinking that maybe instead of spending that last hour of the night with him, I could spend it reading a book in the other room (I don't ever have time to read) or writing in a journal.
A cleaner is not an option either, and if we could save a bit of money here or there, there is a list of things that are higher on the priority list. In addition, I actually enjoy cleaning our home. It relaxes me and it gives the children chores to do.
In terms of making a house-decision without him (like the cleaner), I'd have to think of something else that wouldn't offend or upset him. I haven't thought of anything yet but will keep trying.
I would definitely explain why I'm doing the no sex part of the plan - otherwise, he may just think I'm being rude and a bad wife and have no incentive to change his behavior.
In regard to the regular things I do for him - laundry, cooking, making his lunch - I suppose I should still do those things. Do you think otherwise?
I am trying to think of other ways I could change my behavior to be more mysterious - maybe chat less, share less about my life...? I'm not sure.
I'll keep thinking about this though.
thanks again.
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Post by Cinnamon on Jul 18, 2019 17:50:39 GMT
Implementing the NSR should rattle him. Everyone's circumstances are different, and what you say about the hobby thing and cleaning makes sense.
With regard to mystery:
1. Sir Guy lays it out pretty clearly in the series that you need to pull back emotionally ever so slightly so that he hardly notices. Read the series again and take notes. Talk less about yourself to him, full stop. Sir Guy spells out the behaviours for MM.
2. I would continue to do all the same chores.
3. Can you register for an online course and do that in addition to reading for pleasure some of the evenings? I think it's important to put the question into his head whether you are contemplating your future differently as a result of his EAs. Course RA has lots of free courses.
4. Can you get together with a friend or group of female friends for dinner every month or two some evening? The book club would serve the same purpose.
If he questions any of these changes just be vague and brief but kind. "It helps to clear my head" or "I've always been interested in botany" (smile!) or "It helps to get lost in the world of the Victorian novel - such a different perspective on life!" (smile!) or whatever. You get the idea!
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Post by anonymouswife on Aug 14, 2019 19:04:06 GMT
Ann update on this - it seems like my husband did have a wake-up call. Changes I made:
At first I made it clear that this behavior was completely unacceptable to me and that it was breaking our marriage vows. After that, I let it go. We were going away for the weekend to a family event, so I had to drop it and focus on the family. I didn't speak to him much that weekend but was pleasant.
I stayed in the same room as him at home but told him that there would be no physical contact. I tried to be more happy-go-lucky in general, kept to myself and sang a lot (I hadn't done this in a while). I didn't involve him in my daily struggles or thoughts but was pleasant and listened to him. I would have liked to do a new hobby, make myself 'new' in some way, but didn't have much time. So the singing was my change and he noticed it.
I didn't ask him if he planned on changing/ what he was doing etc.
He talked to me about it a few times - he told me it is all his fault and I did nothing wrong. He told me that he thought I was going to leave him and it terrified him to death and he felt like he would never be able to face his family, friends or community again because he would know it was his fault.
He started to make changes - he started going back to keeping more religious rituals. He began going to a religious study class weekly with other men from our community. This is huge for him because he is not a very spiritual person. We are religious in practice but he is less religious than I am. He also started to go to a psychologist on his own to deal with his issues. This is really huge because he is generally anti-psychologist, but this one was personally recommended to him from our religious leader. I'm skeptical of psychologists but I hope it can help. In addition, he recently changed jobs. He was working in something which required him to develop a lot of relationships with people. This is how he met the woman he was texting. About 6 months ago he switched jobs to one is all-male (not because of what happened but he began to appreciate it more). At first, he wasn't happy about the job change, but now he told me he really thinks it is best for him and he is glad that he isn't constantly having to meet and impress new people and potentially get into another 'dangerous' situation.
I think things are going in a positive direction. I truly value the help and advice from this forum...and of course I am eternally grateful to Sir Guy. I think it is super empowering to be able to implement this positive spirit and bring it into the home.
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Post by Cinnamon on Aug 21, 2019 16:52:52 GMT
Thank you for the update!
It sounds like you are implementing the MMM very well. All the actions on his part point to the fact that he has imposed guilt on himself for his grievous mistakes. That he is embracing a spiritual life with the fellowship of other believers is great news. As Sir Guy said, men who make good husbands are ones who believe in something greater than themselves.
The ball is in his court to figure out how to win back your respect and trust. You must remain receptive to him, but not over-eager. Continue to use indirectness and charm. Remember, you are the buyer and he is the seller!
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